"There’s a life before your diagnosis and a life after."
Patricia Van Melckebeke
“I'm still able to do a lot of things, but in moderation. “Together with my husband and a few friends, I even walked part of the Camino de Santiago.”
On Friday, March 3, 2023, Patricia Van Melckebeke’s (66) GP diagnosed her with pathological bone remodeling, which could indicate bone metastasis. The oncology department at the OLV Hospital in Aalst contacted her the following Monday. Here’s Patricia’s account of these past few challenging months.
How did you experience the diagnosis?
That same week, a CT scan was taken, and I spoke with the general oncologist. A bronchoscopy and lung puncture confirmed primary lung cancer. I remained optimistic until the doctor told me it was stage 4—irreversible and palliative. Surgery was not possible due to the bone metastasis. My world collapsed. I reacted in disbelief, suppressed the news, and convinced myself it was osteoporosis. What was I supposed to tell my (grand)children?
What is the prognosis?
A few years. Is that two years, three years, five years? It’s been a year and a half now, so maybe I have six months left? Or another year and a half? I felt very depressed initially, partly because I had to wait nearly two months to begin treatment. After 33 days, severe side effects set in, leading to my first-ever hospital stay, which lasted twelve days. That’s when I decided to switch my mindset. I had to stay positive; I still wanted to make something of my life. My friends have been a tremendous help. I created a WhatsApp group where only I can post updates, so I don’t have to respond to (well-intentioned) questions all the time. Talking about my condition is important. But especially now, as we remember the dead at the beginning of November, I get very emotional. Visiting cemeteries or going to funerals is still very hard for me. There’s a life before your diagnosis and a life after. A shadow hangs over it.
After my hospital stay, my husband and I took a short break at the seaside. We cycled, walked, enjoyed each other’s company, and cried watching the sunset. We had some difficult conversations about the funeral, about letting go, saying goodbye… Later, I received the last rites from a priest.
"We had some difficult conversations about the funeral, about letting go, saying goodbye…"
You're still very active?
Yes, I’m grateful to stay active, although I do everything in moderation and listen to my body. I can work in the garden for about half an hour, but not all day. By noon, my energy is depleted. Sitting or standing for long periods is too strenuous, as my spine has been irradiated twice.
My husband and I walked part of the Camino de Santiago, thanks to our friends who provided their RV so I could rest as needed. They’ve been a great support. They understand us completely, having lost their son to a rare cancer. I can share my story with them, and they can share theirs with us.
Are you satisfied with the care you received?
Yes, very much so. A second opinion at the Bordet Institute in Brussels also reassured me. The pulmonologist-oncologist at OLV Hospital clearly and visually explained how the medication works. The team at OLV Hospital is my “anchor”; it’s essential to have a good connection. You need to be able to express what’s on your mind and to apologize because sometimes you get angry. The psychologist has also been very helpful.
Prolong
Patricia Van Melckebeke receives significant support from Prolong, a nonprofit that brings together and supports people with lung or pleural cancer. “They regularly hold lectures,” explains Patricia. “Doctors provide expert information, and you also get to meet others with cancer. Talking to each other about our illness and the side effects of therapy can be very helpful. Every case of lung cancer is different; each patient goes through a unique journey. A positive attitude and being an active patient aid treatment. “As people living with cancer, we can support and encourage each other,” she says.